Susanna Freymark
In a quiet courtroom, Julie and Thomas Gronow described their lives since the death of their teenage son as the man who pleaded guilty to murdering him sat in the dock about three metres away.
At the Supreme Court in Lismore, the public gallery was filled with people in support of the Gronows. The police sheriff brought out tissues that were handed around.
“This is a nightmare,” Ms Gronow told Supreme Court Justice Helen Wilson.
Her words were heavy, and at times she could barely speak as she relived the loss of her son.
The courtroom was silent except for quiet interruptions of people sniffing and blowing their noses as they tried to stifle their tears.
The court session on, Monday, July 29 was for the sentencing of Rayne Aylward who pleaded guilty to murdering 17 year old Ned Gronow at his home in Casino on June 25, 2022.
“You may get a glimpse of the life I live — it is more an existence than a life I recognise,” Ms Gronow said.
“May no one ever be forced to go where I am now. There is no way out from this horror.
“I’m just the shell of a happy mother of four before the hellish night two years ago when everything in my life was devastated.”
Her life changed at 1am on June 25, she said.
That was when Aylward came into their Casino home and stabbed her son 12 times as he lay sleeping in bed.
“I am an empty vessel — just like my son Ned was found to be — with holes in his body as he was savagely killed in his bed.
“Evil truly exists. A murderer lived amongst us. How can I possibly find the words to relate to your Honour? — gutted, hopeless, forlorn — since that fateful night.”
Six large pendant lights hung down from the courtroom ceiling — their sickly greenish glow did nothing to light the room.
“I’m a person I don’t recognise,” Ms Gronow said.
“Why? Why? Why? I’ve asked a million times and then more.”
Ms Gronow described her son.
“Ned was our baby — the youngest of four. Ned was the unexpected joy in our lives. He was on his way to his dream of a business he was planning for years.
“His dreams and hopes were taken away so cruelly on one dark night.”
She said Ned kissed them goodnight “like he always did” before he went to bed.
“Morning never came for Ned.”
Just after 1am, Ned’s beloved dog Thor began to bark, Ms Gronow said.
“I woke Ned’s dad — ‘I think there’s someone in the house’.
“I went straight to Ned’s room and I was met with the sight of a bloodbath.”
People cried in the gallery.
“As early morning unfolded, I would have given my own life in heartbeat after heartbeat to save my little boy,” Ms Gronow said.
“I can’t unsee Ned so completely drenched in blood.”
For a mother to describe waiting for the ambulance, watching paramedics pull Ned onto the floor to give CPR is harrowing for all in the courtroom listening to the details.
Ms Wilson was still, concentrating on every word Ms Gronow was saying.
Ned was alive with a faint pulse as efforts were made to save him.
Ms Gronow says she sat in the lounge with her husband as directed by police until she heard two fatal words — “He’s gone.”
“Surreal and torturous doesn’t come close to breaking the news to his siblings over the phone,” Ms Gronow said.
“Ned should have been safe in his own home, at night, in his own bed.
“The guilt lies with one person and it’s not me.”
The Gronows have not been able to return home.
“I have an increasingly dilapidated house with a mortgage — but it is no longer our home,” she said.
“My mind still sees the bloody carpet.”
The carpet was removed and underneath is the blood stain on the wooden floor.
“His life is over — for nothing.”
“I failed to protect my son from evil. A fact I simply cannot live with.”
Ms Gronow at times slumped in the hard wooden bench she sat on in the courtroom.
“I live each day with an emptiness inside.
“I feel a pain in my chest that keeps twisting and I get flashbacks to Ned’s final horror moments.”
Ned wanted to live but he didn’t get a chance, Ms Gronow said.
“He never got to be 18. I am deeply haunted by what has happened.
“Our family is irreparably broken.
“Love never ends. But neither does agony.”
Ms Wilson said it took “enormous courage” for Ms Gronow to make her statement.
Ned’s father Thomas Gronow made his statement. Ms Gronow stroked his arm as his words choked in his throat.
“Losing Ned so violently has broken me to the core of my being,” Mr Gronow said.
“My identity is lost — who am I now?
“I live a hollow existence with bouts of shaking and uncontrollable tears of grief.”
Sleep brings no relief to Mr Gronow.
“When I sleep I have recurring nightmares of when he was taken from us,” he said.
“Life has completely lost its meaning.”
Mr Gronow said when Ned was alive he urged his father to give up smoking so Mr Gronow did.
Since Ned’s death, he is smoking again.
“Now I’m a chainsmoker — existing in the shadows. I smoke to numb the pain in every breath I take.”
Mr Gronow said Ned got his learners permit 36 hours before he was killed. Mr Gronow was looking forward to teaching his son to drive and to spend hours in the car chatting with him.
“I feel so much guilt for not providing proper security in our home.
“I still cannot look at myself in the mirror.”
Ned, you will be forever loved and forever missed, Mr Gronow said.
“You will be forever 17.”
The Gronows hugged and went back to the gallery.
Aylward could not be seen from the public gallery as the Gronows’ statements were read out.
The session continued with Aylward reading out a letter to the Gronows.
That will be in another story as this one is about the Gronows having a voice about the enduring sorrow they suffer.
The judge will deliver the sentence Aylward will serve today, Tuesday, July 30 at 11.30am at Lismore Courthouse.
NOTE: This story was first published on Monday, July 29. The courts contacted IndyNR.com to take the story down because Ned Gronow was under 18 when he was killed. The mother of Ned Gronow has given permission for his name to be used. Also, Ned’s name has been public since June 2022 and has been published in many media outlets. We republish the story here with a few minor changes. We wanted readers to know why the story suddenly disappeared.
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