Wexforde Brandish once observed “Sometimes a cigar is just a banana”. From most angles, Wollumbin (Mt Warning) is the dead spit of a Brahman bull, positive proof that there have been Brahman bulls in Australia for twenty-three million years. And what a protracted time of head-tossing, ground pawing/hoofing and bellowing that must have been, given that it is generally accepted that the Brahman cows arrived millions of years later.
Now listen. Hard times have been taking their toll on your wellness and flourishment. All the affirmations, meditations and herbal vitaminery in the cosmos can’t help you, if you don’t get stuck into some al fresco manifestation, Pronto. Yes, I know your name probably isn’t Pronto. That was a Typo. I mean a typo.
The point is, you need to get out and about. Pack a hamper, bundle yourself into the Hoopy, the HiLux or the Hyundai and head for higher ground. Stand on a mountain, where you can take in the view, oxygenate your sinuses and manifest your best freakin’ self. I’m talking about Mallanganee Lookout.
Check out the view. You’ll like it. More than that, you’ll discover a smack-gobbing truth. Look to the north. See it? Wollumbin isn’t a Brahman bull after all! That Brahman bull has become the perfect head of a supine giant, whose body stretches west along the Macpherson Range. It’s the Sleeping Giant, and once seen, he can’t be unseen.
The Giant, this cataleptic colossus, has no feet, or they’re in western Queensland. If you could wake the Giant and stand him up he’d probably manifest himself as an excellent basketballer, although any ball he handled would be covered in ice from the tremendous altitude it would reach.
He’d also have to be constantly ducking to avoid getting pranged by Elron Munt’s pesky satellites. Still, team him with Lauren Jackson and Patty Mills and they’d manifest themselves as the Marvel Aussie Hoopster Invincibles. Man, oh man, what a franchise! Movie rights and action figure licensing would bust the cost of living crisis in a fortnight. It would…
Then again, he might take it right spiteful if you disturb his sleep. Better not. Things could get all tectonic. Best let him snooze on and manifest as …
… a lesson to us all.
Bullgoose
and then