I keep getting mail, much of it seemingly under the general rubric of “What gives?” Stuff like:
Kyogle Council! Sacking plot! What gives, Bullgoose? “Dubious”, Doubtful Creek. (Search me: makes about as much sense as Clive Palmer’s K-Pop Dance Step Cookbook)
Or
What gives, Bullgoose? Are you and Wes both in love with Alice Piddens? You’re always on about her. Mills McBoone, Ellangowan. (It’s hard to know, Mills)
But what about this one?
Dulgigin Sphynx outrage! What gives, Bullgoose??? Terrylene Jimdandy, Ewingar.
To tell the truth, Terrylene, I’m still in shock, climbing the floor and walking the walls trying to account for this, this… this:
Yep, someone has done a graffiti job on the treasured Dulgigin Sphynx, enigmatic sentinel of the Clarence Way near Yates Flat. As the discoverator of the Sphynx, I can understand why concerned citizens are looking to me for answers, but frankly I’m so confused I could flummox for Australia.
I mean if you read my earlier column on the Sphynx you’d know that the thing is basically unknowable. We don’t know who built it; we don’t know why; we don’t know when; we don’t know what it’s made of; we don’t know how they built it; we don’t know why they didn’t finish building that one in the background and we don’t know what Sphynxy does, except that it sentinels hard.
It might have been sentinelling there for hundreds or millions of years before I happened upon it. We know it’s not Aboriginal. We know it faces west, but we don’t know why. Every oddhead and crackball has a theory, and they all sound pretty rubbish to me. One kook claimed it was the work of “an angry race of alien insects”. Insects? Ha! Others are convinced it was constructed in the 1960s by legendary visionary waxhead surfie builder, Waxy Noggins, but the Sphynx is way, way older than that.
Now this same crew are up to their deranged positry (suppository more likely) once more and suggesting that it was Waxy who did the graffiti. Give me a break. Do the maths. If Waxy was still kicking he’d be late eighties in the shade, and trust me the Sphynx’s domain is not mobility scooter territory.
So, what does give? Who sprayed the Sphynx? Why? How? And when? Is it youth gone wild vandalism? Is it grey boomer nomads with nothing to do and a lot of time and money to do it? Is it art? Is it quality art? What does it mean? Does it look a bit like Rolf Harris (shudder)? And what language is “Jasoon” anyhow?
Is it illegal? Is it immoral? Why those colours? Will the paint preserve or degrade the structural integrity of the thing? Will it scare the livestock? Will it compromise the ecosystem? Is it still safe for children? Is there money to be made from it? Could it become a site to rival the Caves of Altamira?
I’ll tell you what I do know, which is precious little. The appearance of the spray-up coincided with some major roadworks carried out right in that very area a few weeks ago. I point no fingers. I don’t. But still. Anyhow, I do know that the Sphynx sits in the Clarence Valley LGA, so the spraying probably can’t be blamed on some mad Kyogle Council muckings-about, which is good news I suppose.
Listen, I can’t solve this mystery on my own. I’ll need your help. Send your theories to the Indy Facebook page. I promise not to laugh unless they’re really funny, in which case I’m probably out of a job. Out of a job? Wait. Too topical.
A lesson to us all.
Bullgoose
and then